Parking Vultures
Generally speaking, can we agree that I am not an easily irritated person? That I am more inclined to laugh than to develop a pet peeve, that I am not prone to road rage (unless you count cheerful singing of … Read More
Tick Tick BOOM
Once upon a time, I was a naive young woman who unwittingly permed her hair mere days before the Beloved proposed to make me his bride, and thus change my life forever. Having no use for long engagements, we were … Read More
Birthday Party Grinch
Perhaps I have mentioned this already, but not being an innately useful person, I make it a point to stand next to really useful people. Thus, when inevitability overcame yet again and I decided to blog (confused? Back to the … Read More
Feodora-esq Academia
Due to circumstances that I really cannot claim were out of our control (though, heck, this would sound better if they had been… makes me sound kind of shallow to admit we are starting school late because I was traveling), … Read More
Salt, Sand and Set Limits
*The times, dates, and tenses are off on this post. Oh well. If I am being quite truthful (and I like to think I am known to be, especially here. To the point of, gah! Please make the truth stop, … Read More
Long Time, No See
But I have a really good reason, I promise. Yes, I have horribly neglected this blog because it turns out, despite popular opinion, I do have a daily word limit and while it is a disturbingly high number, it does … Read More
Butter and Rest: Accidentally Good for You (my bad.)
So I got a free treadmill off of Craigslist and didn’t even get killed. Fine, technically I sent the Beloved to pick it up, so if anyone was going to get Craigslist-killed, it would have been him (three cheers for … Read More
Quail Envy
Hear that? That is the deafening sound of another academic year reaching its close. Pip-pip and break open the junky cereal!! And for those of you who find your fibers inextricably woven to the rhythm of the more traditional school … Read More
Pamela Anderson and Theological Twerking
I got pulled down a Babylon Bee hole this morning. As far as holes go, the Bee hole is probably my favorite. Air conditioning, great snacks, and chuckles that will probably come back to me on my deathbed. They were … Read More
Like a Spider Through an Electric Fan
With the joys of springtime (rhubarb-rhubarb-rhubarb) comes the harsher realities of the fall and the dark effect it has had on both man and beast. And critter. Nature, while lovely, carries with it a blot. That blot is spiders. Not … Read More
Knock Knock… RHUBARB
Remember back in the day when I first started hunting and pecking around on this blog and some of you couldn’t believe what you saw with some of your reading eyes? The glow of August sunshine warming your face as … Read More
Mother’s Day and the 364 Rule
You’re not wrong. I have been on the quiet side, which is perhaps not what I am known for around here, but I promise, I have a brilliant excuse. Maybe 3 or 18. Or I am a flake. Could be … Read More
Counting Wrong
When we moved into Feodora, the first real problem that needed dealing with actually was not the incessant traffic noise or my fear of allowing the kids in the front yard next to all that traffic (3 years in and … Read More
Yogurt Magnates and Crunch Bars
Protein is very important, you know. Atkins certainly thought so, and surely a man with his own brand can’t be wrong about everything (that and no matter your individual dietary persuasions, you have to offer a solemn nod to a … Read More
The Barre, the Bread Pudding, and the Backhanded Compliment
I remember it like it was yesterday (though in truth, it was more like 34 years ago), during my lone venture into the world of dance classes. My instructor, Miss Meredith, was so deeply glamorous to me, and her shiny … Read More
Flashbacks, Flashpoints, and Fortitude
I blame the Boy Quail’s ambivalent eye towards the oliebollen of last week, entirely. Surely if he had just inhaled the stuff like the thoroughly digestible crack cocaine that it is, his cold would have bounded off and not been … Read More
Butter and Rest: Earth-Shattering Granola
Overstatement? Maybe. Let’s assume not. So the Quail have had icky gross unhappy coughs for a week. Perhaps I already mentioned that. A few days ago, I decided to cure them by making oliebollen, a Dutch donut hole of sorts, … Read More
I Am the Chicken (aka the Blue Grocery Cart)
He intended it humorously. I know that. And yet somehow, in our ongoing debate about whether or not we should raise a few chickens for really no other reason than that our youngest Quail taking care of chickies sounds adorable, … Read More
Insert a Title About Rainbows That Isn’t Cheesy (seriously. I am stumped)
On occasion, I need help. Oy with your snorting. Didn’t we make a resolution about resisting the low hanging fruit? Not we? Just me? Oh. Well, it was too easy anyway. You’re better than that. Well, the vegetables have been … Read More
Bananas, Lemons, Torches and Churches
Fundamentally, I think bananas are a lot like toddlers that belong to other people. There is a very short window where you think they are appealing slathered in Nutella, but past that, they make everything smell funny. I mention this … Read More
A Word for a New Mother
I am often asked for copies of whatever I blurt out when speaking at showers and the like, so here we are, skipping the middleman (namely, the printer I do not own), and y’all can have this last weekend’s bit … Read More
Butter and Rest: Baby Shower Bait
A markedly extroverted friend of mine, who is oft in the position of using her gifts to plan bridal and baby showers at church, appears to have stumbled upon the key to ensuring this introvert’s attendance at her events: she … Read More
Sibbes Brings the Snacks
I am forever trying to get people to play hooky and go road-tripping with me. It is astounding to me how many of you have jobs and responsibilities that you are hesitant, dare I say loathe, to walk away from … Read More
Honorary Quail for a Day
I take birthday odes very seriously. Truthfully, I missed a major one during my hiatus and I owe Quail the Second a doozy of a retrospective that may or may not have to reference how as a baby, a single … Read More
The Hi Tutor
I know, I know — what an A plus creep thing to do, to tease you with a new post and then disappear, rudely, with no explanation!! You know what they say about it being easier to ask forgiveness than … Read More
Una, Swing the Hammer
Perhaps our time apart has been good. Maybe you have been filling the space with more excellent reading, with Puritan writers who, though long dead, live on with words that burn themselves onto your soul or with Wodehouse himself, which … Read More
Stop Messing About
This morning, email has not been my friend. I know we aren’t supposed to hate the messenger and all, but today I do. This morning I learned over email that someone I love dearly lost someone she loved dearly. He … Read More
Butter and Rest: Blueberry Pancakes
Lame, right? You all probably use your great-great-great grandmother’s recipe for blueberry pancakes and are wondering why I would bother writing about a breakfast that has been SO DONE. Fair point. Here is my twist: I don’t put blueberries in … Read More
A Gourd Named Winkler: Killing Assassins with Cute, Fluffy Dogs
On occasion in these posts, I have alluded to “my pain”, while never really explaining it in any truly satisfactory way. And you’re now thinking, THIS! Finally! The whole reason I bookmarked this ridiculous website and keep coming back when … Read More
Get Out of the Boat
Inspiration strikes in funny places. Do you find that? How often was Michelangelo just minding his own business, enjoying a midday burger or his equivalent of the daily crossword puzzle before out of nowhere, BOOM — you know what would … Read More
There’s a Fine Line Between White Trash and Happy
It’s interesting living in western Washington (insert eye rolls and sarcastic remarks about understatements here, please). I noticed it more this year than ever before, that here in the Seattle area, as soon as we get past Christmas, there is … Read More
Butter and Rest: Blood and Irony
It is annoying to let yourself down. Especially when you disappoint yourself over an absolutely foolish and arbitrary goal, like I have this week. Because I am literally the only person who cares that I did not succeed in getting … Read More
Sleep Deprivation is My Superpower
Confession time: my reading habits tend towards the schizophrenic. On any given day, you might find me reading G.K. Chesterton, Francis Schaeffer, Martin Luther, Fredrik Backman or John Greene and absolutely everything in between. Yes, prying Reader, I have even … Read More
Labor Intensive Bacon
Once upon a time, I lived in a place where I had a bakery for buying my bread and Sabbath pastries, a Meat Fairy who kept me well supplied, a farmer’s market for vegetables, and a source for local dairy. … Read More
We’ll Leave the Light On
I question the viability of any journey that produces no entertaining tale, no humorous tidbit destined to become ingrained in family legend for decades to come. If a family travels in the middle of the forest and can’t turn on … Read More
Butter and Rest: Grandpa Blueberry Granola
No, I didn’t just run out of ideas this week. It has been a week of travel, of remembrance, of the worst sleep in a hotel I have ever had (which is saying something), and of recovery. My family said … Read More
St. George and Jonah (When Your Best Ideas Go Kaploof)
I actually did have a post I was working on yesterday. No, scratch that, one I started on Monday (check me all not waiting til the last minute!). And it maybe possibly wasn’t even terrible, which I thought for a … Read More
Whys, Wherefores, and Wannabes
Being somewhat mad with power, as all honest homeschooling mothers will admit to being, we chose to push off our return to the glorious halls of learning (otherwise known as the dining table) until this morning. I spent last week … Read More
Butter and Rest: Hello, Tricked Out Waffles
Happily ensconced in all your blissfully naive New Year’s resolutions? Good. Then we can talk waffle decadence. https://adventuresincooking.com/coconut-waffles-with-lime-curd-cardamom/ First, you are going to roll your eyes at me and make snorty sounds about the idea of making fancy schmancy whipped … Read More
Faerie Lights and Why I Am No Good at Being Saved
Sometimes epiphanies hit out of the blue, solidly on the hindparts of my cranium, causing spots to dance before my eyes. Yesterday clocked me solidly with one of those. And it shouldn’t have, I think. I should have been aware … Read More
Put the Armor on the Ground
Quail the Second is becoming well-versed in the art of metaphor… I am proud to busting! I have noticed this quality developing slowly in her over the last year or so, but the other day, she walked into the kitchen … Read More
The Day the Oven Died
Imagine there’s no sticky buns… No homemade bread or rolls… Only pre-packaged carbs above you… And an Author moping over a pot of oatmeal, wondering if you can cook challah in a dryer… Well, this is what I was going … Read More
Just Because You Have a Uterus…
The battle for a decent west side haircut continues. For the record, I am trying my darndest to be a grown-up and not go trekking through 4 hours of snow and ice simply because I really like having fabulous hair. … Read More
Butter and Rest: the Un-Resolution Edition
“At the beginning of a new year, many people have nothing better to do than to make a list of bad deeds and resolve from now on –how many such ‘from-now-ons’ have there already been!– to begin with better intentions, … Read More
Part 3: Studs, Southerners and Semis
We now come full circle in this meandering tale of our Christmas adventure (thank you for bearing with me to the end). The day after Cousinpalooza, we woke up with a sugar hangover and packed our plethora of stuff into … Read More
Part 2: Cousinpalooza (When God Builds a Family)
Gather round, children; it is definition time. Cousinpalooza (noun): a Christmas gathering of the Marme and Papa branch of Winckler, attended annually by the 3 offspring of Pater and Materfamilius and their families, who make up the 12 branches of … Read More
Christmas Kaleidoscope, Part 1
If you have been hovering nervously over your “refresh” button since last Saturday, wondering if UnPublish(Able) has gone the way of so many good and noble ventures (which is to say — kerplunk and dead), then take heart. Consider the … Read More
Butter and Rest: the Christmas Eve Edition
“Oh candy the apples Oh shell the nuts Oh crackledy crack yum yum Trink trinkle around the taffy box Oh yum gulp gulp and yum!” Eloise at Christmastime (which if you have never read, then I have no idea how … Read More
Being David Benoit
My, but I had such plans for writing this week… God rewrote my plans and instead this might be the first week since UnPublish(Able) started up that I have not produced a blog a day. I have to say, I … Read More
I Am an Excellent Driver
Quail the Youngest has been having quite a time of late, needing multiple rounds of antibiotics, and this morning, I was driving her back to the doctor again when halfway there, the pouring rain turned magically to whirls of snowflakes. … Read More
Gregorian Chants and Other Dark Tales of Christmas Gift Giving
The snow is floating so slowly from the sky that there must be male snowflakes driving who refused to stop and ask for directions, who keep telling their anxious wives that they know exactly where they are going and they … Read More
Butter and Rest: the One Without a Recipe
(The following is a talk I gave at a Ladies’ Christmas Tea this morning.) Truthfully, when Anne asked if I would write a little something for a ladies’ tea, I thought she was just expressing her quirky sense of humor, … Read More
Ode to a Boy Quail
The drive to the hospital 11 years ago, December 15th, 2011, was not the first. You had me convinced several times that you were ready for your birthday; the second to last visit to Labor and Delivery, the nurse felt … Read More
My Kingdom for a Set of Kankles
We all have tasty little holiday pitfalls we fall into, ditches of fudge and spritz cookies, festivity that lingers with us for months, if you know what I mean. It is one of the delights of the season, quite frankly … Read More
St. Lucia Day, Saffron Buns and Why Remembering is Worth It
I am seized with a complicated series of identity crises this time of year. Actually, I suppose they show up at various times and seasons — how could I both own and use a Fry Daddy with no shame and … Read More
A Theology of Ugly Sweaters
“Home Alone” was definitely one of the iconic holiday movies from my generation, although it wasn’t really a major thing in my house growing up. Funny what you watch as a kid that establishes itself as entirely normal in your … Read More
Butter and Rest: Babka Edition
Sometimes I think I miss out a bit by not being Jewish. Don’t get me wrong — grafted in, one of Abraham’s seed through Christ — absolutely not downplaying the amazing gift of being a Gentile Christian. I just think … Read More
Reputation: It’s Not Just a Taylor Swift Song
(Isn’t that album so sad and depressing? She used to be a lot more fun to listen to.) I think I have mentioned it here before, but I absolutely hate crying. And I know, because I have been told multiple … Read More
So God Made a Marme
December 8th of every year during my childhood out on the orchard, my Grandpa D. would light up a star way up on a pole to commemorate my mom’s birth. It was only fitting. And since she has been shining … Read More
How Powdered Sugar Bakes, and Why Tomorrow is OK
Things I have learned this week: Ear infections can cause horrific, wracking coughs that make it sound like lungs, spleens and kidneys are being hacked up. Homeopathic remedies actually work sometimes, and can be made into funny little sugar water … Read More
A Long Overdue Leggings Intervention
I am an amateur. I admit it. If you do your weekly grocery shopping at Costco on a Saturday morning in December, you pretty much deserve what you get and have no room to complain about the lady who appeared … Read More
18 Year Ebenezer (December 4th, 2022)
“The mystery remains a mystery. It withdraws from our grasp. Mystery, however, does not mean simply not knowing something. The greatest mystery is not the most distant star; on the contrary, the closer something comes to us and the better … Read More
Butter and Rest: Pears, Meet Chocolate. Now Be Friends.
And let’s be real — they are. Wasn’t it Spurgeon who, when asked how he reconciled the doctrine of predestination and human free will, said he didn’t, because there was no need to reconcile friends? Well, ditto chocolate and pears. … Read More
The Providence Swap Meet and Trial Auction
Ingratitude is an art form for me. Why do I spend so much time on this blog exhorting all of you to lift your eyes up, to spot the graciousness of God in your trials, to give thanks in all … Read More
Embrace the Discombobulate
Discombobulate, a noun: the state of being discombobulated, out of sorts, wonkydonks and upheaved. (English majors everywhere, pull your claws out of the plaster on the ceiling. I am fully aware that I made all that up. You’ll live.) It … Read More
Grissini, Pockets, and Soul Spanking
You cannot say I didn’t warn you. Let the long rambles about Advent traditions begin! There was a time when Ann Voskamp was not woke and at least a little bit less flaky than she perhaps now is, and as … Read More
Chicken Hearted Stew
We saw the first hail today, pelting about the yard like they owned the place (which I suppose, in that moment anyway, they surely did). I guess that makes it official — winter has arrived. For years, wiser heads than … Read More
Our Eyes Are at Fault, That Is All
Last night, during the final doorknob question (the most important topics come up at that last moment before the last goodnight is said, when your hand is on the doorknob… it is when you think you have checked all the … Read More
Butter and Rest: the One About Oatmeal
Normally, I would never consider something as prosaic as oatmeal for this feature. But here’s the thing, and with absolutely no underlying spirit of accusation, there are people (I mean, I don’t know them, but I have read about them) … Read More
Stay On Your Horse
As we embark on the first planned hiatus from blogging in honor of 3 days spent with Superchick at her lovely abode for Thanksgiving (squee!! And yes, I know you are all wondering — what will she do with all … Read More
“I Don’t Know How You Do It” and Other Mysteries of Rhetoric
The first time I can recall being told that I would be a tough act to follow, I was about 13 years old and it was the woman cutting my hair. At the time, I recall having no idea what … Read More
Butter and Rest: Circus Bun Edition
Have we known each other long enough for me to offer up one of my favorite, most difficult, and absolutely most fun recipes to make without you smirking and closing down the screen? Kindly recall that I have also offered … Read More
What I Can Do With 9 Fingers: a List
I am not much of a list writer, actually. But here goes. Write a blog. Pointer fingers are overrated when you are hunting and pecking, chicken-style, anyway. Wash half of my hands. As in, one hand. Ever seen a kid … Read More
I Bleed Stupidity
It all started at 2 am this morning when I awoke with that awful feeling in my throat that serves as a flashing hazard light, informing me that I am set to feel sick for a bit. Something about the … Read More
Tears the Size of My Bum (and Other Irreconcilable Tragedies)
It is so strange to realize that I have suddenly (because it did feel sudden… wasn’t it only about a year ago that my inner thought dialogue sounded exactly the same as it did when I was 16? And yes, … Read More
What You See Is What You’re Looking At
Recently, I attended a ladies’ fellowship evening at church. It was hosted by a gracious woman with a beautiful home and there was intentional conversation and teaching about hospitality, which explains/justifies the two different cocktails I learned how to make … Read More
It’s Always Leah in the Morning
I obviously lack maturity. If you have been here longer than about ten minutes, this will not astound you (though you could strive for politeness and stifle the snort and eye roll), so maybe it is not surprising that when … Read More
Butter and Rest: the Number One Reader Edition
That’s right — this one is for you, my non-baking soulmate of a reader. The one who reads all my blither about creaming butter while munching on Cheese-Nips and sipping Merlot and giggles over my folly and wonders why I … Read More
Cake is the Answer
Now, some supercilious humbug could be reading this and argue that it seems to them that the veracity of the title depends heavily upon the nature of the question (not my regular readers, you understand. But theoretically, one of you … Read More
Kneading in the Crumbs
Over the summer, I had a temporary lapse of sanity and attempted (once again) to learn the art of making sourdough bread, chiefly because I really like eating it. I engaged with hell itself and requested a whole collection of … Read More
Can You Wait?
Now observe my Herculean effort to keep this burst of words both ladylike and dignified. So, the human subconscious is really a striking piece of Divine handiwork when you think about it. It has often been observed that if there … Read More
Never Look a Gift Quilt in the Mouth
Somewhere along the line, mail started getting less fun. I historically love getting mail, but that enthusiasm has been dampened by all those pesky bills and bank statements and, most recently, politicians lying through their teeth at me in print … Read More
Happy Daylight Cursings
Last year, I finally looked it up. I mean, if your heart is seeking to take a name in vain every six months, you sort of want to know whose name to use, amiright? The answer is William Willett, the … Read More
Butter and Rest: Brown Butter Breakfast
I have grown silly happy fond of Saturdays. They are made up of work, no doubt, but there is also the hint and anticipation of rest to come, combined with the extra time at my fingertips that is normally devoted … Read More
When God Sends a Sackbut
I have been studying to write a women’s Bible study on the book of Jonah (you wouldn’t believe how much is packed into that little tiny book. The mind grenades are flying) and came across a quote by Charles Spurgeon … Read More
Why I Never Learn
I am in the process of burning our lunch. It is not a conscious decision, and there are no smoke alarms going off (yet. Side note: if you have been reading up on the blog, you may have stumbled upon … Read More
When Your Hair Isn’t Safe (aka Daddy, Build the Dollhouse)
It has just been one of those days. I don’t know why they hit out of nowhere, or why it seemed today to hit every female at Feodora, but I think I have changed my clothes about 10 times today … Read More
Tramp Stamps, Scars and Bunyan
When I was in high school, there were 2 solidly unfortunate trends that coincided in a most unattractive way: low rise jeans and tramp stamps. You may be such a classy person (I would expect nothing less of my readership) … Read More
Bug Bagels: a Reformation Day Word
No one in their right mind makes bagels from scratch. Now that we have gotten that out of the way… So there I was, mixing up the sponge for my first attempt at poppyseed bagels last Saturday, because what could … Read More
Butter and Rest: the One You Have Been Waiting For
This is the last Sabbath breakfast post of October, so I suppose we have eased into autumn slowly enough… time for a pumpkin recipe. Back in the day, we used to summon my Glamorous (and highly quotable) Friend from her … Read More
When In Doubt, Put on the Mustache
It is not too late. By the time this is published, we will be withing spitting distance of Reformation Sunday and it is not too late for you to fling yourself headlong into celebration of the incredible kindness of God … Read More
When Your World Needs to Explode
It all started with me getting excited about a bowl of oatmeal. Not gonna lie (I never lie to you, reader, you should know that by now), I find this embarrassing on a number of levels, not the least of … Read More
My “I Love Lucy” Game Face
Once a month, the men at church gather on a Sunday evening to sing and study and fellowship. I am all for this. Yet it must be admitted that we are creatures of habit and pattern and to have Sunday … Read More
When the Crick Don’t Rise
The weekend was blessed with rain, after an unusual streak of many dry and sunny months. Seattle was about to lose its tourism attraction and the anxiety over the risk of becoming just like every other liberal, crime-infested, climate-obsessed mecca … Read More
Smoke Gets In Your Eyes… That’s How You Know Lunch Is Done
This is atypical. Moms may get sick last, but we are not supposed to get sick longest. I swear it is in the handbook, right after that bit about no longer being obligated to eat the oatmeal you make everyone … Read More
Butter and Rest: Cranberries, as Promised
Want to know another fantastic thing about cranberries (assuming you are all caught up on recent posts and don’t need me to spin another sonnet in admiration of cranberries. Save both of us the time and hop to the archives)? … Read More
Italics Don’t Lie (aka Terrorizing the Teflon)
(Not to be confused with Italians, who may or may not lie, being human and all. Have you watched the acceptance speech of their newly elected prime minister? Makes you want to be Italian. If you watch one political video … Read More
The Israelite in Me Recognizes the Israelite in You
Sometimes I think it must have been fun to be a Pharisee. It is sort of the way I sometimes feel when I see bimbo college girls. Years ago, a friend was grieving over the shallow obliviousness of her younger … Read More
Ratios, Recoveries, and Remembering
The fevers have broken! Kind of like morning breaking… only brighter and with a worse taste lingering in our mouths. What is that, anyway? The entire inside of one cheek is all bumpy and gross feeling and I couldn’t figure … Read More
Cranberries Are My Love Language
Once upon a time, a jazz musician married a horticulturist and she has been wheedling for him to dig her a cranberry bog ever since. My logic is darn near irrefutable: he has a Bachelor’s degree in horticulture with an … Read More
Butter and Rest: the Sickie Edition
Insert that thing about best laid plans. I had such gorgeous cranberry plans for this feature, but alas, I am the besickened caretaker of the house of plague and thus, there is only appropriate offering this weeked: Cardamom Rice Pudding. … Read More
Quail Down!
I just finished feeding chili cheese Fritos straight to the mouth of a kiddo in a bubble bath while reading Calvin and Hobbes out loud. The facts are undeniable: The Quail have fallen sick. And thus, blog posts are late, … Read More
Man Colds Kill
When God wants to exfoliate a wife’s soul, He sends a Man Cold. Don’t pretend you don’t know what I am talking about. Ask any wife, especially any mother, and if the home has been ravaged with colds, if children … Read More
Yoga Pants, Death and Applesauce Cake
Ok, fine. Fall can happen. I have bid adieu to every last remnant of summer and am now thoroughly ensconced in acceptance, and I can prove it to you: I have just pulled an applesauce cake out of the oven, … Read More
Skittle Face
Quail the Second dragged her exhausted self into my kitchen this morning while I was warming up apple cider on the stove and declared, with a sobering degree of gravity, that she was suffering from Skittle Face. This gave me … Read More
UnPublish(Able) Turns Beatnik Poet
16 years from the day of birth. 16 years to struggle, to laugh, to triumph, to worship. Dark morning, lit by a full moon (it must be in her honor — God is kind like that), by heaps of candles … Read More
Butter and Rest: the Birthday Edition
In honor of the sweet 16 of Quail the First, which fortuitously falls on a Sunday this year, today I shall offer you her (and our) favorite and best special breakfast, and the perfect addition to a Sabbath breakfast feast … Read More
Hidden in Plain Sight (Ode to a Birthday Quail)
There are birthday presents piled in my bedroom, only barely hidden, because the Lord is good and the Conqueror of death. That’s right — my oldest quail turns 16 years old this weekend. And my mind is blown. All birthdays … Read More
Crate That Puppy
I am not much of an animal person. It’s not personal. I don’t have any opinions about whether or not you want your dog to sleep on your pillow or if you are that person who goes through the Starbucks … Read More
Lessons from the Road I Want to Stop Traveling
I don’t think I am cut out for walking. Throughout the last week, I have been experimenting with using walking as a viable form of exercise. Every day around lunch time, I see my 2 elderly neighbors don their large, … Read More
Intuitive Eating (aka Let Them Eat Cake)
If you have been hanging around here for the last week, you know that I got generally hacked off at my skinny jeans, my pain, and… well, yeah, basically those. Wooly baa lambs don’t waste a lot of energy feeling … Read More
Cockroach Infestations and Pie Crust Pastry
So, I was making apple dumplings for the first time last weekend. I grew up watching the Apple Dumpling Gang, so I have always known they are a thing, apparently worth mining for gold to get, but actually never knew … Read More
Butter and Rest: the One Where I Get Sappy
It is October 1, and there are bright yellow leaves beginning to flutter down onto the road. Fall is rife with memories for me, memories of romance and grief and everything in between. So as I urge you on to … Read More
Shin Splints Killed the Olympics
I suddenly remember why I never made it to the Olympics. As a doe-eyed youth (you can’t picture it, can you? Go take a swig of black coffee. It helps the imagination), I aspired to go to the Olympics running … Read More
Do They Make Republican Serial Killers?
Within 45 of minutes of punching that gleaming “publish” button on yesterday’s post, I dug out an old beat-up pair of sneakers (ok, fine, honesty police — I had someone tall and useful dig them out for me. Happy now?) … Read More
Dash Dash Skinny Jeans
It doesn’t happen often, but this morning as I puttered about my kitchen, I found myself drawing a big fat blank on what to talk about today. All that I can come up with has an unfortunate tendency towards the … Read More
Stuck Pot Lentils and All the Feels
I recently brought shame upon myself by admitting that I am internally nothing more than an old man belting out, “You kids get off my lawn!” at every phrase I find personally distasteful, and then I proceeded to name some … Read More
Great Expectations Go ‘Boink’
I was a young mother when I first read the quote: “Expectations are the death of relationships.” (Side note: I used to think that transitioning from being a “young mother” or perhaps more aptly, a “mother of young children” to … Read More
Butter and Rest: A Cupcake by Any Other Name
…would be a muffin. And a totally legit breakfast choice. I have been threatening, er, promising to convert you to eating cake for Sabbath breakfast and today we shall make our first true foray down that sugar-laden trail of joy … Read More
Preaching to Pharoah (aka — When Dreamworks Calls, Hang Up)
I sometimes worry that Pharoah is my spirit animal. If you have taken my (dare I say) absolutely brilliant advice and joined me in the Bible Reading Challenge, then you know we are currently in Exodus. My eldest quail became … Read More
Noses Are Not Steak
Quite a few years back, my grandmother read a book about eating for your blood type that I think was a bit popular in weight loss circles at the time, though I don’t believe that was why she read it. … Read More
Get Over It
There are phrases that I absolutely hate. Actually, I seem to be gaining more and more of these phrases as I get older, which is probably a sad predictor of just what a cranky person I am going to be, … Read More
Borlotti Bean Friendships (Don’t Flash the Milkman)
As I stood at my kitchen sink this morning, listening to the incessant roar of traffic out my window, the candle on the windowsill flickering as I worked through 55,000 pods of borlotti beans, I contemplated how many things have … Read More
Dodging Park Rangers
I am married to a fun man. He has the best ideas, so when he said he was able to take a Saturday off so that we could take the kids to Mount Rainier for the first time, even though … Read More
Butter and Rest: the Waffle Edition ( aka Fat-Hearted Worship)
On the way to Mount Rainier, there is a Waffle Stick stand. Don’t know what that is? Neither did we! But the Beloved has had the itch to take our kids to Mt. Rainier all summer and today, we finally … Read More
What Do People Do If They Don’t Cut Their Hair?
I am choosing not to let it hurt my feelings that of the thousands (…) of readers I must have who just aren’t admitting it out loud (smart. Always look busy), not a single one noticed that I broke my … Read More
Peter Rabbit Is Not Cute
We own cats. I feel that I have already made a fair number of startling confessions on this blog, so by this time, you really have no excuse for being shocked when I tell you that I am not a … Read More
Pomegranate Blood and Road Graders
Of all the places we have lived (and there have been a few), Feodora owns the market on all things perpetual, interminable, unremitting and unceasing (Yes, I am aware those are all synonyms. Aren’t you glad I didn’t bother to … Read More
Bouncy House Blues
Let’s just get all the rock throwing out of the way, shall we? I hate bouncy houses. I am a bounce house Scrooge. Upon discovering at the annual church picnic that we have apparently become the kind of church that … Read More
Butter and Rest: Hello, Autumn.
My beef is not with pumpkin spice. As I see it, pumpkin spice is like platform shoes: it can be done fantastically, something Mary Tyler Moore would pull off with class, or it can cause necks to break. Granted, my … Read More
Scraping the Bottom of the Emotional Watermelon
There are myriad different levels and brands of fatigue. There is the 36 hour labor fatigue, the sitting in Seattle rush hour traffic fatigue (which, it is worth noting, sometimes gets confused with being homicidal, but it isn’t. It is … Read More
Perfecto-Zizzbaum and Keeping the Grass Cut
“Definition of Luddite : one of a group of early 19th century English workmen destroying laborsaving machinery as a protest broadly : one who is opposed to especially technological change. The Luddite argued that automation destroys jobs.” This is an uncomfortable admission for me. I feel my hypocrisy … Read More
Airplane Wishes and Armpit Snuggles
It’s happened. The first day of school here at Feodora has come and gone and in the blink of an eye, fall has arrived. Like, we could literally see our breath this morning. SO. WRONG. But there have been signs … Read More
The Thighs That Bind
The weather has not turned to autumn coolness, and I was standing in the yard with my cup of coffee, following the instructions I had been given to “Watch!” Normally, this is when I hold my breath while the quail … Read More
Airing Out the Pasta Salad
I would never dream of so maligning the characters of any of my fluffy and darling quail as to suggest that there have picky eating tendencies. Perish the thought. But there is a particular giddiness I feel when I stumble … Read More
Butter and Rest: This is My Last Little Peach
I know. Enough with the peaches already. Get a new fruit, get a hobby, GET A LIFE. And I solemnly swear to get right on that… next week. But come on — this is my last Sabbath breakfast pitch before … Read More
Shaving Your Shins (a Lesson in Spiritual Clotting)
Credit where credit is due: today’s post comes with a nod to the Beloved, who walked out to breakfast this morning with toilet paper stuck to his face, the remnants of a shaving battle that he apparently lost. He burst … Read More
Momstitions and the Eye of Sauron
My sister (huh… I just realized I don’t have a pithy non-name for her the way I do for everyone else I mention in the blog. That-Gorgeous-Creature-Who-Is-Literally-Everything-I-Want-To-Be-When-I-Grow-Up feels a little wordy, though definitely on the nose… let’s call her Superchick … Read More
Ruby-the-Cryer Rehabs Her Reputation
I have made the conscious decision to try and make use of my local Communist cell, er, library, as it were. Now that a very pleasant person, willing to speak slow and use small words, has taught me how to … Read More
Putting on the (F)Ritz
School may be throwing me an evil grin from just around the corner, cackling about how my mornings spent in superfluous baking and Wodehouse novels are a mere blink away from being over, but the perfect watermelons live on (ha, … Read More
Hysterectomy Pirate (aka Don’t Eat the Button)
It is a running joke amongst my bevy of quail (side note: did you know that was a thing? I always thought it was a covey of quail, but apparently bevy is the more appropriate classification), that their mater is … Read More
Butter and Rest
This week’s Sabbath breakfast feature (now just recklessly trying out titles, because even though I think there is somebody reading all my nonsense, y’all are eerily quiet in the comment section and offered no suggestions) is distinctly seasonal. As in, … Read More
White House, Not-So-White House
There is something mysterious that happens on the eve of company coming over. I have a theory that it is a gene that lurks quietly until word comes that a toddler you did not birth is going to come in … Read More
Succotash, Sprains and Syllabub
Until today, I could not have told you just what it was that Daffy Duck was blithering about. And to be fair, his mama’s succotash could have been a suffering and I would not dream of diminishing his pain by … Read More
Call Before You Stab
In a world full of money making schemes, a few basics rise to the top (according to the interwebs, and we have established the flawlessness of this method, no?). Listed towards the top, actually, is blogging… Step One: produce excellent … Read More
Because Receptionists Deserve Attention Too
They say even negative attention is attention… It all started with my husband’s teeth being made of butter. Well… and probably years of my feeding him butter. I can accept some share of the responsibility here. But he had developed … Read More
Chucking the Buckle: A Marriage Word
“Buckle is a dessert which combines fresh seasonal fruit, a rich cake batter, and a streusel topping. The result is a rich, dense cake with a moist crumb which is sometimes compared to coffee cake. It is an excellent summer dessert, and can … Read More
What Ho! An Announcement!
UnPublish(Able) is adding a new feature! I can hear your thoughts screeching to a halt — it had features before this? Yes, silly. The “welcome to the show” feature, the “hoo boy, aren’t you glad this isn’t your brain?” feature, … Read More
Orange Soul Spiders and Marigold Stink Bombs
Edith Schaeffer was known to describe the worthwhile effort of making a home beautiful using whatever God gave you, telling stories about the lean years when table decorations consisted of whatever sticks and wildflowers her kids found and brought inside. … Read More
Figs, Feathers and My Great Aunt Virginia
I blame Mo Willems. If he had not introduced the whole notion of Nanette’s Baguette to the world, after blessing our socks off with great pieces of literature like Elephant and Piggy, Knuffle Bunny (Mr. Willems, if you are reading … Read More
Keep a Pan of Brownies in the File Cabinet
Do follow my train of thought, please. It started with dinner last night. As I have perhaps already mentioned 18 or 19 times in the last 7 days, my floor is flush with perfectly lovely peaches, plums and glorious pluotts … Read More
Blue Cheese Soup (aka You Make One Mistake…)
Seeing as I have already devoted a silly amount of space here to waxing poetic about the stone fruit in Washington State in August, I will restrain myself today. Suffice to say, the peaches are beautiful. What do you do … Read More
The Evil of Simplicity
If ever there was an idol thoroughly ripe and ready for a great heaving into eternal hell fire, it has to be the idol of simplicity. This leapt to my attention, not for the first time, this morning when I … Read More
Ode to Pluotts
I hate that my computer thinks I misspelled that (that and wow, I often misspell the word misspelled… awkward), because it rubs my face in the fact that I live in a world largely unfamiliar with pluotts. A cross between … Read More
The History of Swearing
Hot days in Western Washington are a different beast than in Eastern Washington. While the weather is overall much more moderate over this direction, I did not realize when I moved here that there actually are people with no air … Read More
Wholesome Summer Gore
I hate biking. Before you take to tsking me (because seriously, if that is your heart’s desire, start with something bigger, like my tongue ring, that I think Star Wars is boring or my propensity to sneak ice cream from … Read More
The Extraordinary Spiritual Gift of Butter
I have long debated with myself whether this observable talent of mine is more of a superpower or a spiritual gift — perhaps you can solve the internal dithering for me. A definitive word from you, the readers, and I … Read More
When Farmwives Travel in God’s Country
I was reading the blog of an old friend this morning, someone who has become a sensation in the homesteading world. Yes, I think, ironically, that is a thing. You would think that internet fame and grubbing out your living … Read More
Hansel and Gretel or the Sisterhood of Traveling Pants
It seems to me that there are basically two ways to break into a new community. You can either dole out small pieces of information about yourself, breadcrumb style, and assume it will be like the frog in the pot … Read More
Don’t Exercise in Front of a Mirror
Years ago, I was introduced to a workout program called T-Tapp by a drop dead gorgeous friend of mine, who also happened to lose a ton of weight doing it (the two are not related. She has always been a … Read More
Spiders, Recycling, and Other Things I am Afraid Of
In the Hebrew (ha! I love starting a sentence that way. Makes it sound as if I have a clue about anything in Hebrew. Kind of like when people say, “Now that I’m in my forties…”), the word Feodora means … Read More
The Children Live, the Fruit is not Rotten, I Will be in My Fort
Stereotypes are fun. Let’s take a look at some, shall we? And I bring this up (heaven forbid I ever have a train of thought and fail to punch your ticket for the ride) because I got it into my … Read More
When Your Metaphorical Thighs Get Stuck
The drive across Washington State in midsummer is a feast for the senses. Actually, it is a literal feast too, if you do it right. It was not a conscious decision to acquire 80 pounds of peaches, nectarines, apricots and … Read More
The Law of Self-Perpetuating Ridiculousness (aka the goodness of God and the blog kill switch)
One of the most prominent reasons that I never started a blog before (apart from all the ones I have already referred to elsewhere, of course. You have not read those? Is it possible that you are not, how shall … Read More
Buying Underwear for Strangers
It should be noted right off the bat that if you badmouth Google, you will pay. In my experience, the primary currency they extract comes from the nerdy henchmen living in their mother’s basements who run Google Maps, modern day … Read More
Tito Puente and Threatening the Cheese
It makes me sad to think that I live in a world full of people who don’t know who Tito Puente is, or that his version of Take Five is even better than the original (you win the bonus round … Read More
Soul Slivers, Sourdough, and Day Drinking
I swear. These are all connected. If you were to take this title to heart in a last-shall-be-first sort of way, I think you would discover depths far beyond what I even write. You may also get a headache. Forewarned … Read More
Going Spiritually Commando
It’s a funny thing. On Friday of last week, I was bemoaning my utter lack of usefulness as a human being. I honestly don’t know why the zombie apocalypse is a concept in my mind, but I know for darned … Read More
Inevitability Strikes Again
A smarter person would have stopped making fun of things by now. Because sure enough, anything that I really commit to open mockery, especially if I have done so on the record in a public forum (say, Thanksgiving dinner), is … Read More