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It should be noted right off the bat that if you badmouth Google, you will pay. In my experience, the primary currency they extract comes from the nerdy henchmen living in their mother’s basements who run Google Maps, modern day … Read More

It makes me sad to think that I live in a world full of people who don’t know who Tito Puente is, or that his version of Take Five is even better than the original (you win the bonus round … Read More

I swear. These are all connected. If you were to take this title to heart in a last-shall-be-first sort of way, I think you would discover depths far beyond what I even write. You may also get a headache. Forewarned … Read More

I’ve been thinking a lot about hiding. And not only because that huge batch of towels I washed by hand in my bathtub the other day turned out to smell disturbingly like the baked feet of a person who has … Read More

It’s a funny thing. On Friday of last week, I was bemoaning my utter lack of usefulness as a human being. I honestly don’t know why the zombie apocalypse is a concept in my mind, but I know for darned … Read More

A smarter person would have stopped making fun of things by now. Because sure enough, anything that I really commit to open mockery, especially if I have done so on the record in a public forum (say, Thanksgiving dinner), is … Read More