Italics Don’t Lie (aka Terrorizing the Teflon)
(Not to be confused with Italians, who may or may not lie, being human and all. Have you watched the acceptance speech of their newly elected prime minister? Makes you want to be Italian. If you watch one political video … Read More
The Israelite in Me Recognizes the Israelite in You
Sometimes I think it must have been fun to be a Pharisee. It is sort of the way I sometimes feel when I see bimbo college girls. Years ago, a friend was grieving over the shallow obliviousness of her younger … Read More
Ratios, Recoveries, and Remembering
The fevers have broken! Kind of like morning breaking… only brighter and with a worse taste lingering in our mouths. What is that, anyway? The entire inside of one cheek is all bumpy and gross feeling and I couldn’t figure … Read More
Cranberries Are My Love Language
Once upon a time, a jazz musician married a horticulturist and she has been wheedling for him to dig her a cranberry bog ever since. My logic is darn near irrefutable: he has a Bachelor’s degree in horticulture with an … Read More
Butter and Rest: the Sickie Edition
Insert that thing about best laid plans. I had such gorgeous cranberry plans for this feature, but alas, I am the besickened caretaker of the house of plague and thus, there is only appropriate offering this weeked: Cardamom Rice Pudding. … Read More
Quail Down!
I just finished feeding chili cheese Fritos straight to the mouth of a kiddo in a bubble bath while reading Calvin and Hobbes out loud. The facts are undeniable: The Quail have fallen sick. And thus, blog posts are late, … Read More
Man Colds Kill
When God wants to exfoliate a wife’s soul, He sends a Man Cold. Don’t pretend you don’t know what I am talking about. Ask any wife, especially any mother, and if the home has been ravaged with colds, if children … Read More
Yoga Pants, Death and Applesauce Cake
Ok, fine. Fall can happen. I have bid adieu to every last remnant of summer and am now thoroughly ensconced in acceptance, and I can prove it to you: I have just pulled an applesauce cake out of the oven, … Read More
Skittle Face
Quail the Second dragged her exhausted self into my kitchen this morning while I was warming up apple cider on the stove and declared, with a sobering degree of gravity, that she was suffering from Skittle Face. This gave me … Read More
UnPublish(Able) Turns Beatnik Poet
16 years from the day of birth. 16 years to struggle, to laugh, to triumph, to worship. Dark morning, lit by a full moon (it must be in her honor — God is kind like that), by heaps of candles … Read More